I woke up at 4am feeling so much magic. It’s funny, because external circumstances aren’t ideal right now, but the overwhelming sense of joy and magic was undeniable. It led to some insights, which I wanted to share.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of enduring – what are we willing to endure, and why? Enduring is a huge part of abusive relationships. Some endure abuse because it’s all they’ve ever known, and adapt using cognitive dissonance, which keeps them feeling the safety of the familiar while not actually bringing awareness to the patterning.
Some endure because it gives them a sense of power or martyrdom – ‘after all I’ve done for you…’ which then switches back into a kind of perpetual victimhood and the need to create drama.
Then there’s a whole other kettle of fish, which is being with the discomfort. This isn’t to say it’s healthy to stay in abusive situations, it’s to say contrast is usually offered to us to shift something within. So the external circumstances offering contrast allow for an opportunity to say, ‘hey, I see a pattern here, and it doesn’t make me happy, and I need to change it.’ Maybe it would be easier to dissociate, or to shift into martyr mode, but is it serving your expansion?
It’s only through BEing with it (that doesn’t mean stay in situations where danger is present) that the magic arrives. You make shifts as you learn to create new ways to find peace that aren’t based on old response patterns. And THEN go. Don’t stay in the discomfort forever because that’s unhealthy enduring. That’s self-abuse.
Wishing you a magical day,
~ Jenny <3