Ah Love. Here we go again.
I think Tim Hardin says it so well in his song, Reason to Believe, when he writes:
‘If I listened long enough to you
I’d find a way to believe that it’s all true
Knowing that you lied straight-faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe.’
How many times have I promised myself to follow my heart, and to recognise that words not backed up by actions are not an accurate description of love?
Love is in the actions. It’s speaking the truth of your heart and acting in alignment with those words.
How many times have I promised myself that I wouldn’t bend when someone asked me to change the little pieces that make me, me, and then time and again, broken that promise to myself?
Love is in the actions. It’s in the acceptance of another, just as they are, and allowing them to be just that.
How many times have I ignored my internal warning system to plow through for the sake of love, or a watered-down version of it? Convincing myself that any love is better than no love…
Love is in the actions. It’s not something to be coveted or denied depending on the perceived value of the others’ worth.
How many times have I promised myself that I wouldn’t let anyone else treat me *this* way, only to find myself looking back on a situation that gradually stripped away my resistance to being treated *this* way, and justifying it as okay because __[that’s how love is]__?
Love is in the actions. It’s treating others the way you want to be treated, and not accepting anything less than treatment that is resonant with your own deepest desires and beliefs.
How many times have I promised to care for myself first, and not allow the needs of others to supersede the right I have to thrive? And how many times have I denied myself that?
Love is in the actions. It comes from within, and it reflects the truth in all of us. It wraps us in its warm embrace and encourages us to spread it around. Sometimes, we forget to lavish some on ourselves.
How many times have I questioned my own worth in connection with another, not noticing that they don’t question their worth in the same way in connection with me. They assume they’re enough, without effort, without consciousness, without action.
Love is in the actions. It’s a giving and receiving of trust, respect and honesty, a sharing, an opening. It doesn’t require chasing or constant verification of its existence.
How have I allowed myself to buy the lie that love is in the pretty words and infrequent gifts? That love is simply a matter of stating it, like a fact, ‘I’m saying I love you, therefore I must.’
Love is in the actions. It’s not simply a statement or an occasional bunch of flowers.
It’s being there during the darkest of times, when the person you love temporarily morphs into a harridan or a screaming banshee, allowing them to express their grief, rage and pain without judgement or personalising it as an insult to yourself. It’s holding space for growth, no matter how that looks on the outside. Even if it means walking away.
It’s accepting others as whole people, and not simply as accessories to nicely-wrapped packages you may desire to present to the world.
Love is in the actions driven by the depths of our souls, from a place connected to Source itself. It’s warm and giving, accepting and all-encompassing, compassionately detached. It’s a gift given from one heart to another, with no strings attached.
It’s too easy to tell ourselves lies where love is concerned, because it’s something that as humans, we strive for. We want that connection, to be seen, heard, accepted and cherished. We accept versions of it that cause us pain and grief because it’s better than nothing… or so we want to believe.
Perhaps we believe the answers lie outside of ourselves, when in truth, they lie within.
They lie in our own actions, thoughts and beliefs, the ones we direct at ourselves and at others. They lie in the way we respect and cherish our own needs, and how we nurture our souls.
There is no such thing as a being devoid of love. We come into the world as shining beacons of pure love, and we’re taken on amazing journeys of discovery through the process of losing track of and finding it again as we navigate our life’s pathways.
I encourage you to act as love would act, in everything you do and say, and you’ll begin to see more and more of it in your life. As the saying goes, like attracts like, or in this case, love attracts love.
~ Jenny <3
Here’s a wonderful version of the Tim Hardin song, sung by Billy Bragg and Lisa Miller: