Narcissim, Privilege and The Patriarchy

There’s been a LOT going on in the collective lately, and I wanted to see if I could address a few threads today. It felt like they became cohesive as I was lying awake at 3am.

~ N.B. This is a long one ~

I’m first going to start with a little about my own process, so that the way these posts come together might make some more sense.

I am an intuitive empath, and pick up energies from the Earth and collective that are most active at different times. Sometimes it feels like a background buzz, with all kinds of things in the periphery of my awareness, and other times, one will come through loud and clear, perhaps riding the wave of a particular emotion.

Other times, like recently, it’s a group of clear threads that are sort of half-formed, and I understand then that I need to sit with them to understand the fullness of the messages. Then they fall into place, and I feel it when they’ve integrated. If I try to follow them too soon, they are premature, and not as coherent or clear. This is why at times I am silent, and at other times the messages feel almost constant.

Some of the messages come through and then much later are given to me again, with extra information or ‘bonus materials’ It’s almost like the original message is a precursor; as much as I can understand at that moment.

Today’s has old threads and newer ones. It feels more and more cohesive as I go big picture –> detail –> big picture.

Okay, on to the message(s).

The first is connected to a post I wrote called ‘Is Narcissism Inherent to the Patriarchy?’ It was written last July and published on Rebelle Society this March. The reason I am giving the dates is to demonstrate how active this thread is and has been for some time. It is amping up in its intensity as the energy of the feminine continues to re-establish its foundation in the collective.

The way this is connected to current events worldwide is that narcissism is the epitome of the wounded, distorted masculine energy. It is rampant in the (white, hetero-normative) patriarchal structures that have been at the root of our ways of being in the world for millennia. This is an indication that change is taking root, but as so often happens with change, it ain’t pretty on the surface.

We are being offered a choice at this point in our collective history. Do we allow the wounded, distorted structures to continue to define how we show up, or do we make new choices?

This leads to the next thread, which is that narcissism is the root of ALL isms. The founding structures of narcissism (grandiosity; entitlement; lack of empathy/compassion; exploitation; fantasies of unlimited power or success; need for admiration, etc) can be seen woven through isms across time and space.

Take imperialism/colonialism for instance. It can be defined by entitlement to others’ land, cultures, lives, etc in the pursuit of greater power, reach, etc; writing over the languages and stories that defined others’ ways of being with the expectation that yours is in some way superior or ‘right’; lack of empathy and compassion in the pursuit of glory that led to the destruction of peoples in horrific and traumatic ways; silencing the voices of people who attempt to point out the inherent wrongness of this way of being; exploitation of resources with disregard for human life and cultural significance. All of this was done in the name of global domination, with little to no regard for what was left in the wake of the destructive and violent conquest.

All isms are normals by another name. They represent an extreme perception of reality that incorporates a belief in one way of being and excludes other potentials.

The thing with isms is that they can be so much a part of a belief system that the people involved really have no understanding of the ways in which their attitudes, language and perceptions affect others. And not all isms are seen as ‘bad’ Altruism is one of those that raises questions about a person’s true intentions. Why be altruistic (self-sacrificing) when you can simply be kind, generous and compassionate? Self-sacrifice is ultimately self-serving. Anything that tends towards the extremes points to imbalance.

Here is where the first two threads collide – the denial of the feminine aspect in ourselves and in the collective, has led to a distortion in the very structures that define much of our world. Academia, corporations, governments, religions – have all written over the feminine to display a world that eschews feeling, listening, collaboration, receptivity, and heart-centred awareness. Narcissism is inherent to patriarchal ways of being that are causing destruction to the Earth and her inhabitants.

This is also where the third thread becomes apparent. We need to talk about privilege. Where does (white, hetero-normative) patriarchy allow for the fluidity and expansion of the feminine? Are we, as conscious citizens, speaking out against privilege and its ripple effects in our world?

Privilege and ease are NOT the same thing. Just because you have lived a life with privilege does not ensure you’ve had an easy journey. I’ll get that out of the way right now. That’s not what privilege means.

Privilege means walking down the street and knowing you won’t be beaten, spat on or insulted because of your race, religion, sexuality or different ability. It means you don’t have to think about being rejected for jobs or homes based on the colour of your skin, your heritage or your religion. Do we consciously take advantage of privilege? No, and that’s why it’s called privilege. It underwrites so much of our experience in the world that we can breeze through life unaware of how we are complicit in others’ experiences of trauma, abuse or disadvantage.

It is time to hold ourselves accountable and acknowledge where privilege has opened doors for us that may have remained firmly closed to others. These truths hurt – they hurts us all.

I might not have been as easily welcomed as a housesitter had I been of a different race or religion. I might not have so easily travelled had I been born somewhere other than Canada (and white). I have no doubt I’ve had many opportunities that I didn’t even recognise at the time because of how I present. That’s the epitome of privlege. Again, it doesn’t mean easy.

This is where our experiences and our privilege collide. I understand how it feels to endure abuse and to not be believed, heard or understood. AND I am privileged. I understand how it feels to live with deep, toxic shame and feel deeply destructive self-hatred. AND I am privileged. I understand how it feels to find yourself alone and broke in a world that defines your worth on random external numbers. AND I am privileged.

I am going to consider a few questions as I go forward, designed to bring consciousness to all my interactions and choices.

Where do I buy into old structures that support patriarchal privilege? Do I give equal time to everyone’s story? Do I create a hierarchy of sources in my mind that favour a certain ‘type’ based on education, qualification, etc? Do I honour stories of peoples’ pain and allow them to express their heart’s truth? Do I listen without trying to fix things? Do I avoid certain places or interactions based an old story or fear (individual or collective)? (Where) am I potentially taking advantage of my privilege that is detrimental to someone else’s experience? Am I a conscious ally to people who lack the same privilege(s)? How can I contribute to creating a world that embraces all ways of being and feels safe for all?

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know it’s a long one.

Wishing you magic, peace and joy in the coming days. Hold to your light and trust in the bigger picture. We are cracking the foundations and the muck is rising.

I love you and appreciate you.

Big Love,
~ Jenny <3