Here’s a thought: narcissism is the antithesis of the divine Feminine.
What does this mean for you and me? First I’m going to go broad, and then we’ll get personal. Really personal.
The energetic realignment that’s been underway for decades has been about shifting old consciousness around existing distorted structures towards a more heart-centred way of being.
This energy has been presenting as a resurgence of the (sacred) feminine, which has for millennia been under-represented in the way we’ve constructed life in 3D reality.
The purpose is to balance the masculine and feminine energies, leading to wholeness as individuals and as a collective. This is not a ‘gender’ war, but speaks to complementary aspects of Oneness; the yin and yang, if you will.
The ways of the feminine include collaboration, acceptance (non-judgement), unconditional love, passion, compassion and creativity. The distortions of the masculine that have been at play for millennia have taken the source of power from within to without, attributing to external structures and institutions authority over our bodies and our lives.
This is the ultimate manifestation of narcissism, a victim-like mentality that seeks rescue and reassurance from the outside. It is a thorn in the side of the divine feminine, and contrary to all she represents and believes.
The Earth is one of the most beautiful and perfect representations of feminine energy we have available to us. Her way of being is one of acceptance, nurturing, collaboration (symbiosis), and unconditional love. She gives and she receives. She honours life and death. She provides for ALL to be exactly as they are, giving each individual being the possibility to thrive to the best of their abilities. She is fierce in her expressions of power, as can be seen in earthquakes and other acts of nature. She is Love, with a capital L.
The animal kingdom honours this structure – living in harmony with the ebb and flow of life and death. Our fellow beings show us what it is to be a part of nature, instead of apart from it.
We, as a collective (humanity) have become increasingly narcissistic as we moved away from ways of being aligned with our hearts and our nature. We have adopted a survivalist mentality, seeing lack and limitation instead of infinite abundance and potential. We’ve become attuned to striving as a way of life, instead of thriving.
As we forgot, we fed more hungrily from the energy that surrounded us. We’ve raped the Earth, driven numerous species to extinction, and created widespread toxicity with our excess.
There has been a huge upsurge in information flooding the internet recently about narcissism. It seems growing numbers of people are becoming increasingly sensitive to this energy in their lives and experiences. The collective is clearing the energy of this, and we are all the collective. As with anything, as it is cleared, it seems to become more real, more obvious.
The challenge is seeing this energy for what it is – resistance to the divine feminine. We have vilified selfishness and judged narcissism for so long that we’ve created a collective resistance to the very thing that may open doors to great healing. Without facing it, it cannot be brought into the perfection of wholeness.
As with anything unconditionality lies in acknowledging the totality of whatever IS. Narcissism exists, and if it truly is the antithesis of the divine feminine, then without it, we cannot fully embrace the feminine power within us. The opposite of a thing is an aspect of that thing, and whatever we seek cannot be reached by ignoring that duality. Integration is a tool for dissolving resistance.
I’m defining narcissism as an over-attachment to an ego-defined sense of self with little room for self-reflection or self-knowledge. It is accompanied by a lack of genuine compassion or empathy (for oneself or others). It is akin to a small child trapped in perpetual suffering, waiting for someone to rescue or heal them, with love, money, power, or some other temporary fix for their pain.
The resistance and fear of the feminine is what has pushed us further into the energy of the very thing we’ve judged as wrong.
As individuals, if we fear that power in ourselves, we may seek out relationships with others who provide us with a sense of power, or access to a power we feel disconnected from.
We might withdraw from life and exist in a state of semi-engagement, hiding aspects of ourselves that feel too vulnerable or too ‘wrong.’
We might use our sensitivity as an excuse to be wary, insisting that others have consistently misused or kidnapped our power, or overstepped our boundaries.
We might hoard possessions or energy, not expressing ourselves freely or being generous with our time, knowledge or selves for fear of scarcity or theft.
All of these keep us in a state of disempowerment, and it is by choice we find ourselves there. The feminine calls to us to take deep, integral responsibility for our experience, whatever that means.
Here’s where it gets personal. The best thing you can do if you find yourself resisting anything, including narcissism, is to ask yourself what it’s reflecting in you. Yes, it hurts, that’s why we resist so much. But without facing it, we become dissociated from it, and perpetuate the things we most dislike, until we DO face it.
It is in all of us. It may manifest at different levels or in different ways, but we all have it in us. We’ve all been that small child wanting to be rescued, or that wounded, betrayed person seeking solace.
Instead of resisting, move into it. Ask yourself, ‘Am I a narcissist?,’ or ‘have I been behaving narcissistically?’ and don’t be afraid of the answer. Say it loud, say it proud, ‘Holy shit, yes, I am,’ or ‘yup, I have,’ and let yourself wallow in that for a while. (Think Monty Python in their lumberjack song, except it’s ‘I’m a narcissist and I’m okay.’)
The unconditional love and acceptance you can give that aspect of yourself is the healing you need. And as you heal, we ALL heal, including The Earth. This is one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself and to humanity.
Don’t look outside of yourself and see how you can change the behaviour of all the narcissists in your life. Don’t look for ways to hold them accountable or make them responsible for your pain. That’s just keeping you trapped in the energy of past experiences and distracting you from your power. It’s focussing on the resistance of what is, instead of the integration. It’s potentially even making you ill.
Anywhere you judge another, you become narcissistic in your need to be ‘right.’ As you distract yourself from your path to prove others wrong, you become narcissistic, ignoring your own needs to the detriment of your life. As you embody victimhood, you look to others for your well-being, which is also narcissistic.
The feminine in you is calling to be engaged in her most powerful and divine way. Empowerment lies in really owning your shit. That includes facing all the ‘mistakes’ you’ve made, all the times you’ve hurt others and all the ways you’ve been narcissistic in your own life, and saying, ‘it’s okay.’ It also includes the brilliance, the beauty and the divinity as equal parts of your truth. Now that you’ve brought it to consciousness and made peace with your glorious, sometimes messy humanness, you can make different choices from here on in. Let go of the past and expect things to be different.
Let yourself BE, in all your glory. That’s the power of the feminine.