About a year ago, I had a transcendent experience while cleaning a bathtub. The result of it was a post called The Many Facets of Love.
This past year has been a testament to the truth of the words ‘Everything is Love’, as I’ve explored more deeply this human experience and what those words really mean.
In every experience, every moment, there is Love. No matter how horrific or unlovely it may feel at the time, the inception of everything is Love – that Divine, bottomless well from which we all come. I hold to that truth even more today than I did when I first had my bathtub experience.
Lately, I’ve been watching a series called Breaking Bad, which was recommended by a close friend. For me, this has been an opportunity to explore the concept of Love in a whole new way. It doesn’t necessarily appear to be a love-filled series – it deals with drug dealers and murder and some darker aspects of human experience.
It is fascinating, and a beautiful example of how we have distorted the energy of Love in this dimension to represent only what appears palatable to our greatest fears and hurts. We’ve forgotten the truth of our Divinity that encompasses wholeness as the ultimate goal – and wholeness allows for ALL things to be, as they are.
Unconditionality by nature encompasses the thing and its opposites, without condition, so by denying the opposites of Love as aspects of it, we can not fully embody unconditionality.
Let’s dive into Breaking Bad. Every time I think of this series, I hear a line from The Smiths’ song ‘Please, please, please let me get what I want,’ where Morrissey sings, ‘see the life I’ve had can make a good man, bad.’ If you don’t know the premise of the series, it’s about Walter White, a mild-mannered high school chemistry teacher who finds himself faced with inoperable lung cancer. Not wanting to leave his pregnant wife, 16 year-old son and soon-to-be newborn with no money and crazy hospital bills, he finds himself making methamphetamine with a former student. As the series progresses, more intense and challenging decisions are introduced, all stemming from that first initial choice.
What I love about the premise of this, and the series itself, is that even as Walter begins to make more decisions that take him down the route of ‘bad’ we are constantly returned to the inception of this choice, which was love for his family. He feels such a deep love for them that he’s willing to break the law, hurt people and sacrifice his moral beliefs and values to protect them.
We can feel, as viewers, the desperation he feels when facing the potential end of his life, not knowing how his family will survive. We’re drawn into agonising moments when the initial choice leads to him taking more extreme measures to protect his story. We watch his marriage dissolve as lies are exposed and the threads begin to unravel. We can also see that he becomes ‘hardened’ to the world as he makes further decisions connected to the original choice.
All throughout, we’re reminded of the humanity of Walter and the other people involved. Even the ‘heartless’ drug lords are given moments of human tenderness, offering the viewer the reminder that we all come from love. People kill to protect their families, their interests, their beliefs.
None of us can say what choices we’d make if faced with extreme circumstances that tested us to the core. None of us can fully know the journey another has come down to reach the point where they find themselves today. This is the reality of unconditional love. How can we find the love that exists in horror, terror and darkness? It IS there, we just have to keep looking.
At the root, everything is love – it is conceived of Love and will return to it. We can expand our definition of love to encompass awareness, expansiveness, opportunity, growth; all things that come to us through numerous channels.
It’s in looking at situations from different perspectives that we allow ourselves to open up to the possibility of love that exists within. I don’t believe that anyone is born ‘bad,’ I believe we make choices based on what we perceive to be the ones most aligned with our circumstances and what appears to be available.
Take for example, the cycle of abuse. The reason it’s a cycle is that the early entrainment of abuse in a child becomes the belief system on which they base their subsequent choices. If you are taught that you have no value, you will make decisions aligned with that. If you’re taught you are ‘bad to the bone,’ you will make choices that reflect that. It doesn’t mean love doesn’t exist for these people, just that they’ve been attuned to some of the darker facets of love. Ones that the collective would prefer to ignore or deny.
Until we allow ourselves to open to the possibility of love in every moment, every event and every possibility, we cannot fully love ourselves, or one another. We hold one another to impossible standards when we judge or shame certain actions as unacceptable or evil. The underlying truth is that the inception of every action is based on that being’s perception of love, no matter how distorted it may appear when looking in from outside. When we can find the love in the darkest of times, we have found the Source in everything.
This is not about love as a blindly tolerant doormat. It is about the immensely powerful source of creation that flows through every living being. It exists in the rage we feel over seemingly senseless killings; in the grief we feel over multiple deaths; in the confusion we feel in the wake of war and murder. It is the dark and the light in us, being reflected by multiple mirrors, endlessly through time and space. We have all been multiple aspects of this spectrum and we do it because we love so deeply. We do it because we desire growth and expansion and a remembering of who we truly are.
There is love in acts of violence – it awakens in us all as a collective a desire to express the buried grief and pain we’ve been carrying for millennia. It calls to us to address the imbalance between the feminine and masculine energies in ourselves and across humanity. It allows us to feel deeply and to find different ways of being that don’t cause further hurt to ourselves and others.
The ‘good’ and ‘bad’ we perceive are simply expressions of potential wanting to be acknowledged as facets of the love we are.